The Grocery Store

Such worries and hurts are hidden
Behind faces of calm and smiles.
My friends are not all “Fine.”
They are fighting their fears and trials.

Much of the problem is me.
I don’t listen to what folks say.
I don’t press beyond clichés,
Or, let needs interrupt my day.

Heather, I know—but not really.
She’s my neighbor—quiet and shy.
We wave as we check our mailboxes.
Or, get in our cars and wave, “Bye.”

That man who says “Hi” at church,
I’ve not taken the time to know.
Someone told me he has no family.
That’s a call for compassion to show!

Oh, the people I know—but not really,
Like the man at the grocery store.
I paused, said, “Hi,” and “How are you?”
And, his answer revealed so much more.  

As if begging for someone to ask,
And bring comfort to rest at his side,
He said, “Not well. In four months,
Two dear friends of mine have died.”
 

 © 2023 gratefulsue

back to Authenticity and Empathy

August 16, 2021
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Several weeks ago, when turning down a new aisle in the grocery store, I saw someone I recognized from my neighborhood, a man in his late 70’s. “Should I say, ‘hello’? He hasn’t seen me yet. Maybe I could just go down a different aisle instead. I don’t really like this person,” I thought to myself. He gave me a hard time when I requested to have work done on my house and needed permission from the neighborhood board, of which he was a member. I shook off that memory and decided to be friendly. “Hi. How are you?” I asked, then added, “now that we are nearly through with this pandemic?”

Turning and recognizing me, he said, “Oh, hi. Well, it’s not really over. I lost my wife.” Shocked by his blunt answer, I expressed my surprise and condolences, naturally. He went on to explain that this had happened earlier in the year, and that he and his wife had been divorced for a long time, “But, she was my best friend.” He shared the details of how she caught Covid-19 from their son, who had been taking care of her in a different state. Then, he shared about someone else he knew whose whole family had caught the virus and recovered, except for the father, in his 50’s, who died “after taking care of everyone else.” My neighbor was obviously upset about this as well, talking about what a great guy he was. These two losses had occurred within about 4 months’ time.

After we ended our conversation and went our separate ways, I was both glad that I had ignored my feelings and ashamed that I almost didn’t even say hello. We never know what other people are going through, and when we will have a chance to show compassion.